fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
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The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
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Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy