Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.