I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.