Texts From Last Night

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  (813): View more from Florida

  Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.

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  (813): Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard. http://tfl.nu/8xvq
  Replies (22) Good night (4215) Bad night (702)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,

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  (214): Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking, http://tfl.nu/jftc
  Replies (6) Good night (3465) Bad night (802)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  when did we get a doorman?

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  we were also in the wrong building...

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  (203): yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman. (508): when did we get a doorman? (203): we were also in the wrong building... http://tfl.nu/c2ke
  Replies (15) Good night (7085) Bad night (1212)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.

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  (601): I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable. http://tfl.nu/2hky
  Replies (6) Good night (2356) Bad night (1089)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.

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  (602): If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for. http://tfl.nu/540a
  Replies (17) Good night (1795) Bad night (525)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I think we need to teach you what straight means again

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  (778): I think we need to teach you what straight means again http://tfl.nu/9bex
  Replies (3) Good night (1356) Bad night (572)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour

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  (608): She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour http://tfl.nu/nua1
  Replies (1) Good night (826) Bad night (512)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?

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  (417): So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye? http://tfl.nu/90tu
  Replies (6) Good night (967) Bad night (451)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater

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  (226): I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater http://tfl.nu/c1nm
  Replies (6) Good night (1016) Bad night (552)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  "I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..

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  (802): "I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked.. http://tfl.nu/jof4
  Replies (4) Good night (897) Bad night (504)
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  (310): View more from California

  Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason

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  (310): Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason http://tfl.nu/dz7h
  Replies (5) Good night (597) Bad night (824)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"

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  (703): Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole" http://tfl.nu/nmmt
  Replies (2) Good night (416) Bad night (784)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.

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  (404): Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate. http://tfl.nu/nuzb
  Replies (4) Good night (568) Bad night (508)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.

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  (214): I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me. http://tfl.nu/t1tl
  Replies (1) Good night (607) Bad night (347)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?

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  (208): I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too? http://tfl.nu/54vl
  Replies (2) Good night (565) Bad night (303)

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