so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
