As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
