Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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