Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize