I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
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