just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
