y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
