I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
