Nicole vs. Life
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
