He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm gonna fight the coyote
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
