But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
