He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just had sex on a roof
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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