This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
