happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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