Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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