TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
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But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
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You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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