soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
