Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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