so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
