I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
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Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops