I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
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Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
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Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?