return my video game
literally had 100 drinks last night.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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