Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
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I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
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