The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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