Pappa wants mamma naked
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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