I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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