Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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