Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.

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(631): View more from New York

fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it

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(804): View more from Virginia

he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms

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(219): View more from Indiana

He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(203): View more from Connecticut

She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!

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(352): View more from Florida

This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.

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(650): View more from California

Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around

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(850): View more from Florida

I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity

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