what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you