Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.

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  (512): You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore. http://tfl.nu/p34m
  Replies (8) Good night (1275) Bad night (3248)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?

  (314): View more from Missouri

  you had an obligation.

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  (913): So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right? (314): you had an obligation. http://tfl.nu/0hhp
  Replies (20) Good night (8106) Bad night (812)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team

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  (360): Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team http://tfl.nu/lnn4
  Replies (6) Good night (4439) Bad night (1262)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone

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  (631): You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone http://tfl.nu/0bcu
  Replies (4) Good night (4440) Bad night (998)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.

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  (720): I lost count of how many people I peed on last night. http://tfl.nu/e9nm
  Replies (20) Good night (1908) Bad night (4490)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser

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  (585): you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser http://tfl.nu/abu5
  Replies (5) Good night (2204) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.

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  (510): I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding. http://tfl.nu/nbx9
  Replies (2) Good night (2224) Bad night (1253)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.

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  (608): You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal. http://tfl.nu/so63
  Replies (21) Good night (7127) Bad night (866)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game

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  (781): Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game http://tfl.nu/qq6a
  Replies (3) Good night (469) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out

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  (505): Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out http://tfl.nu/4j6r
  Replies (12) Good night (572) Bad night (1099)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Gym?

  (801): View more from Utah

  Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.

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  (503): Gym? (801): Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants. http://tfl.nu/eaoe
  Replies (7) Good night (1478) Bad night (804)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.

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  (407): Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me. http://tfl.nu/bdw0
  Replies (1) Good night (815) Bad night (447)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.

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  (775): My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am. http://tfl.nu/5s1a
  Replies (3) Good night (805) Bad night (452)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Sadly, she's the porn star that got away

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  (954): Sadly, she's the porn star that got away http://tfl.nu/sl2s
  Replies (3) Good night (371) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.

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  (304): He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete. http://tfl.nu/4eka
  Replies (1) Good night (876) Bad night (292)

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