Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize