You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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