Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
