First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
