you win again, gameday.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
