my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
