I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
