Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
