i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
