ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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