My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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