He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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