Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We left the knife in your bed.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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