everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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