So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Randomize
