I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I want to be your penis for a week.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
