i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
