I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
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Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
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Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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