I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
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Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
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I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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