dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
