Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you will always have a special place in my vag
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
