Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
