i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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