who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
