Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
