My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
