he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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