that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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