I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize