I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize
