i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
