stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
