I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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