There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
