I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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