Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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