They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Randomize
