dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Best friends brother. Beat that.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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