I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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